I know.. there is something wrong within....

Saturday, March 22, 2008

holi was just another DAY !

Sometimes I have so many things I am thinking at the same time that I don’t want to write about it just because I am not in the mood. When I write or anybody..lets not to do anybody and in this whole world sorta things. I l stick to me and myself only.

So as I was saying when I write I think I focus mainly on writing before I think what to write but today despite of the fact that I am not in the mood I will just write what comes to my mind. I had so many things going in my head that presently I forgot what to decipher to u all first.
Well for a quick start seconds before I saw sanyukta’s snaps and I realized I haven’t moved on till now so I don’t think I am emotionally available. To be honest I think now writing this would make one step ahead from what I was that atleast now I accept I have to move on huh.. too complicated things just leave it there.


I am actually very confused over somethings which I find very stupid. I think there is a time when everybody wants to be left alone. I meant left alone for whatever reason they don’t know. Then you will see that their closest or you know most connecting friends hang around with them to make him/her comfortable. I detest what I am wrting but I want to don’t know why I guess I am bored may be that’s why. I hate that at times.


That’s one thought I remembered. Ok now I will write the story , I want to make this article as extensive as possible and would try that until and unless I am empty in my mind with no story and with no imagination left to be shared at this moment no matter how personal or public they are. Even though I have written personal it would definitely be impossible for me to write personal things since I would be in dilemma whether or not its worth sharing with people I don’t care about.

Lately everything in my mind wanders to love and pain and stupid stuff but then it just comes and vanishes as soon as I realize that it’s a pennyless thought and I need to focus elsewhere. ( I think and I am pretty sure what’s wrong here. I was here to write something else but I cannot since I cannot remember those imagination and even though I could I am not able to write it. God ! why am I writing if you wont find it intresting enough to read It and at the end you would think stupid blog.)

You know what a good writer is, A really good one. A person who can create most déjà vu in his novel with every living soul on this planet. I mean when you read the novel and you think how similar your thought was to this author and you think, this novel totally gets me. I was thinking to read the fountainhead from such a long time but everytime I tend to pick up the novel and I see the thickness and I think ..may be later. So I read the kite runner instead and it didn’t get me so much as much I can imagine but it got me till a certain point. Sometimes I wish I could be an author or writer which can totally get you at all levels, you understand like all levels.
I don’t know what kind or persons you want to be but I do know what kind of person you are. When I am speaking don’t take it seriously, I am not judging and I am just giving an opinion. Everybody and I mean it so seriously that you would cry your eyes out but I am dead sure serious has a giant ego. The person who has it and shows it is proud of the fact that I have ego and The person who sacrifices it thinks that I can sacrifice this much .

There is a big problem with guys and girls at the teenage. All the guys at that age have no clue what love is and well girls have all the idea. (but both are lies if u r 22) For them it’s like the most beautiful thing that can happen to them. And its all over the world. Marriage, love, care, strong man and I don’t know what not they have imagined for their guys. As I speak all these things there would be all of you thinking Oh! Another one of those stupid things, but I am not speaking but like all parents think that their sons should not go through what they went through, I just don’t want any one to do stupid things like I did. “Don’t get scared coz every person in this world is just scared of being judged wrong” Okay I need to stop this because I know where its going.. may b later in some other post. (this was one of the most stupid paragraphs so forgive me)

Yes ! I remembered why I don’t I find girls who are like the best for me, Lemme picture my ideolized version of the lady I want.

Hmmm a muslim well religion doesn’t matter but she should be like this. A beautiful Indian/Pakistani/Afgani/ Latvian.. 5 ‘6 “ dark or fair complexioned with black hair. She should be at least 2 or 3 years elder to me with great American English accent and should know more than 2 languages hindi and English being the 2. It would be awesome if the third language is French. Her profession should not be too classy or too below average lets assume an intermediate level , may b journalist or freelance writer or bartender.

Huh ! As I say all this there would be so much fantasizing that its weird. Let me be more honest. I want a girl who is not too sticky nor too oblivious in fact oblivious would do, one who can at least cook few bihari dishes. (typical bihari of me) huh. I know how to cook, I just want her to know how to cook maggi. She should be extravagant in spending money, egoistic and less talkative even though she knows how immature talk is going around her she should know when to interfere and when not to. I wish for her name to be like aliya or Ananya or Ayeznia may be zarah . And then I say I don’t have any expectations. To be honest I don’t. I just have fantasies but they are mine.

Just enjoy your holi everyone as i said its just another day for me.
Happy Holi

5 Comments:

  • this is the worst post ever...do u realize how many I's are there in it..

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 6:41 PM  

  • Hello. This post is likeable, and your blog is very interesting, congratulations :-). I will add in my blogroll =). If possible gives a last there on my blog, it is about the Câmera Digital, I hope you enjoy. The address is http://camera-fotografica-digital.blogspot.com. A hug.

    By Anonymous Câmera Digital, at 6:50 AM  

  • latvia?? not estonia?? i thought Tori was from estonia....

    By Blogger Siva Kiran, at 9:00 AM  

  • an average human being's attention span is 40seconds(dey said in anaesthesiology class)m gonna luv u for nex 50seconds(m above average human being;)

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 8:06 AM  

  • cool...

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 7:19 PM  

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