I know.. there is something wrong within....: November 2009

If you have not seen Kolkata you are surely missing out something. There is something about it which makes me feel wonderful. It has that character of being different from other cities and proudly standing there even though it is the crowd-est city in the country and little filthy too.

I arrived in Kolkata on 8th Nov 2009. To be honest I hated that city. It was just filthy right from the airport. Moreover what happened within the first few minutes with me being in the city also had to do with it.

I was in those yellow taxis, the other taxi just tried to overtake from left and it got jammed.
My taxi driver: "abbey bhonsri k dikhta nahi hai kya"?
Him: Kya be ?
My taxi driver: "Saala (while turning the steering), ghusaa jaa raha hai bihari saala "
And he drove away

I retorted instantly: Kya hai yeh..kuch bhi bol rahe ho?
He said: “ Sirjee aap jaante nahi ho, saale sab bihari ek number k haraami hotey hai”

I didn’t think much before I warned him “ bhaiya aage toh aap bolna nahi warna yahi ladayee ho jaayege” and I didn’t hear any word from him again.

I finished the work in Kolkata and had plans with a friend to visit Kolkata. Everybody we asked said to go to Park Hotel. There was a point when we were like is there any place else and this Bengali guy was like:
“ It’s a good place. You’ll have fun”. I knew what he meant but I was failing to make him understand that I wanted to go somewhere where it would be funny to go and cheap. I hate paying 500 buks for a pint.

I am cheap.
Anyhow we strayed around the city like dogs eating some or the other things, laughing talking about Amit Thakur’s antics. I mean that guy is hilarious.
I still remember:

“We lived in a big bunglow in the corner of the city in Scotland. It had like 15-20 bedrooms, It looked like an old Scottish haunted witchouse.
Amit Thakur lost his keys of his room. Our boss, there was an asshole. Damn, Thakur was so scared to even ask for duplicate keys.. he used to come back from office and go around the house through those 5 feet tall grasses to enter his room through window.
I died laughing… I mean Amit Thakur, B.Tech NSIT, Age 23, Working with Multinational Company earning in 8 figures is entering room everyday through window from last 3 days. It was one of those moments when I laughed so much that I leaned on the car window and finally had to sit near the tyre.”

Then there was this legendary incident which happened during placement in NSIT.
Cast:
Amit Thakur’s Friend: Rohit; He was intelligent, good in sports. He used to be good in Interviews otherwise except when somebody asks him “ What is your hobby or something like What are your strengths”. He used to panic

So during one of the interview session

Company Guy: So Rahul, I guess you have worked a lot on Hydraulic Pumps and can you please tell me about blah blah blah..
Rohit: Yes Sir Yes sir.. I have done quite a few projects.
Company Guy: So Tell me what else do you want to know about our company?
Rohit: Sir Nothing much.
Company Guy: Ok Tell me something about you, like something you are really good at?
Rohit: (He was like,, bhencho..) He acted all confident and leaned back on the chair. He kept his one hand on the side of the chair feeling the support and the other hand on his face..rubbing his chin acting really confident.

He answered: “ Sir, I think I am a really good observer”

Company Guy: ( I don’t know whether he was impressed or he was amazed but I guess he liked the answer a little. Worst happened that he continued with it)
“Alright Rohit, that’s a start We are sitting here for like .. ummm 30 min. So what is your observation about me”
Rohit: (Panic had already struck him but he never backed out. He continued act confident and he was so concerned to look confident, he forgot what he had to answer. He looked at the company guy acutely, rubbed his chin like he was pondering seriously and said “

Sir you know what.. I think you are also (pause) a very good observer.
Anyhow,
We had like 6-7 beers, and planned to go to Sona Gachi in Kolkata at night…
I had never been to such an area in India before. When I told Apeksha, she was like Eww…I didn’t say much to make her understand about why did I go there. I had my own reasons.

Sona Gachi is an area in Kolkata, near Grease Park Metro Station. It looks like you can say Chandni Chowk. Immensely crowded with people just passing by children playing badminton, with a lot and a lot of hawkers selling fruits, golgappas, egg rolls.

While you would walk in the road. There would be a lot of old buildings with names like Night Lovers/Neelkamal Building etc (well I visited these 2 that’s why I know)
My friend Varun was sweating profusely since he had never been to such a place before.

Varun said “ Chal nikaltey hai
Me “ Abhi kahaan”
Varun “ yaar tu marwayega”
Varun “ chal sutta nikal tu !”

As we were walking this old man comes to us “Idhar aa jao, Achhi achhi dikhata huin”

That man was like 65-75 years old but damn it with so much pride and happiness he said those words that it hit me. He had no regrets of doing or even talking like that. Pretty Neat. Huh. He was a lot like me. No regret about anything anymore.
As we entered he shouted
“ Oye Sonu Monu, bahaar aana”
Don’t ask me about Sonu Monu as we proceeded to the first floor and there were people bustling, all labour class people bustling with girls with heavy lipstick and wearing shiny clothes were talking standing outside each room in the corridor playing with their hair. A couple of the girls had small children like 2-3 years old playing there while someone had a new born in her hand and was trying to hand it over to a friend while she said
“Cushhtomer aaya hai”
For a moment I was thinking that my life is same as theirs only the money hides the sobs and shows laughter.

Next Foor

This looked cleaner I guess because it was expensive. The girls were pretty young perhaps 18 or so. They all had flashy mobiles and were sitting together near a verandah playing some games. As soon as we came they didn’t even bother to look until this old man shouted “ Sapna idhar aana” She came smiling with her hands interlocked together and he said “ Dekh lo”
It was like choosing a tshirt and that man was pretty convinced he had a good collection and wanted to sell me one at any cost. I wanted to retort “ Kya dekhu”
but kept mum.

Third floor

It had a big terrace, and me and Varun just came out. I had coronas in my bag so I took it out and started drinking while we sat on the railing.
Varun was pretty cheerful and said “Sahi jagah hai na”
I said “ Haan Thik hai”
I think I was lost for a moment, all I liked was the beer in my hand worth 90 buks. I was thinking it was the first time I am having this beer for 90 buks. At ambience mall in Gurgaon damn I paid 410 buks including taxes for this. I loved that beer very much on the top of the building, Night Lovers. It was a good feeling

The man shouted “Udhar AC Room bhi available hai”. I said “Chup ho jaa” and I thought he understood that I don’t want to hear his voice again

Suddenly out of the blue, I saw this girl walking on the other end of the terrace, she was wearing a t shirt and payjama. She wasn’t someone who belonged to that place. She was smoking ganja and I wanted to take a drag really bad so I asked for it. She didn’t care to say much before she handed over me another 2 joints. She spread out her palm in front of me without looking at me + taking a drag. I handed over a hundred. I am not going in details of the night at Sona Gachi, but it was exhilarating, like a good break from the usual.

I am presently in Cochin in the middle of the Indian ocean. It’s a good thing when you feel like the King. Its fucking great as I sit on the helipad while watching the sunset eating Spicy Barbeque Chicken Sandwich which I prepared from scratch Then I spread it over the 4 slices of Bread to make it large and feastful. Then I put some tomatoes and some lettuce and olives with jalapeños and coleslaw. Its like homemade Sandwich + Chilled Coke and Choclate brownie with Vanilla Ice cream on the side, as I listened to the music while I typed my blog and enjoyed the wind ....I watched this….