I know.. there is something wrong within....

Friday, November 30, 2007

I heard you long time back !

ahhh !!! please. that hurts

Oh my god..Please god, I really wish I don't see that dream again. Please. Spare me. Please.


Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Conversations with God

You know what was I thinking the other day. It is sweet but ironic?

God : What exactly?

Ah.. there u go.. What happened? U weren't talking..?

God: I don't like talking to you when it's worthless talkm, but this doesn't seem worthless

Fine ! So I was thinking when she l grow and have babies and all, would she tell them the truth who loved her the most?


u there


oh my god ! fine I was thinking what shd i do with "my thing"

God: umm that's a question I was thinking too. What would you do with that?

I wanted to name my daughter that.

God: You having kids, r u crazy. Dont bullshit with me?

Ah! Exactly how about "hiding"

God: You can't do that forever?

Chuck God ! Isn't there any break ups in heaven? Like angels and all u knw with other angel,s ome devil wooing angel?

God: Not Really. They aint like you.

What's that suppose to mean. You still don't like me.

God: No I don't. You are not understanding. I have communicated to you through every possible way. She, him, bhaiya and even me. Didn't I. Remember I didn't say a word that time too.

I slept at ur doorstep for hours. It was cold too.

God: Stop Saying it. I don't like that. It was really gesture for a person like you but cummon you also know I cannot help you here?

When do you ever?

God: I will ! You will be happy then.

Will I ?

God: You will Saurabh. Ur life is precious... Save it for me.

Thanks. I really appreciate your support. Just keep her happy and keep me in control.

God: I help those who help themselves.

I miss her.


Just say it once.

God: Dont Worry.

Thanks. Now lemme go to study. Got exam.

God: haan chal kat.. hehe

U r unbelievable.

God: Thats y I am GOD.

Bye !
God: bye.

Monday, November 26, 2007

Answer me

I wish I could only give her letters I have written. God, Can I ?


Friday, November 23, 2007

Why can't guys love themselves as much as women ?

Enjoy ladies !

I shave my legs,
I sit down to pee.
And I can justify any shopping spree.
Don't go to a barber, but a beauty salon.
I can get a massage without a hard-on.

I can balance the check book,
I can pump my own gas.
I can talk to my friends about the size of my ass.
My beauty's a master piece and yes, it takes long.
At least I can admit to others when I'm wrong.

I don't drive in circles, at any cost;
And I don't have a problem admitting I'm lost.
I never forget an important date.
You just gotta deal with it, I'm usually late.

I don't watch movies with lots of gore.
Don't need instant replay to remember the score.
I won't lose my hair, I don't get jock itch.
And just cause I'm assertive, don't call me a bitch.

Don't say to your friends, "Oh yeah, I can get her."
In your dreams, my dear, I can do better!
Flowers are okay, but jewelery is the best.
Look at me you idiot... Not at my chest!!!

I don't have a problem, with expressing my feelings.
I know when you're lying, you look at the ceiling.
DON'T call me a GIRL, A BABE or a CHICK.
I am a WOMAN. Get it? You DICK!?!

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

46th night was the scariest.

Maa, You remember when I was in Scindia, I used to write letters how much I missed you all. Well I used to tell you that I am doing pretty awesome in studies as well as sports and kept on asking you when would you come to meet me. And when sometimes you said that Papa and you are making some plans and I instantly used to negate it and say " Just chuck it Maa, Needn't come ! I am doing fine"

Bhaiya Remember I asked you once "what should I do now?" and you said " Don't worry, Just don't be afraid" I still remember them so distinctly that today I am not afraid of anything. Really anything.

This girl I love so much said to me today " My new guy is irritated of you too ?" I didn't intially realize what was she trying to do. Was she trying to hurt me or anything else. Then I felt that all what she is trying to convey is "Don't mess with my life anymore, I am really happy with him. The more you mess, I get sure of the fact that you don't love me anymore as you used to" And I thought to drop the phone down. Guess what, My intention to call was something really genuine and at the end it became a mere reason for enroachment.

Suck it up Saurabh. Just suck it up. After all that's what you wanted, remember. But you didn't know it's gonna be that brutal. But it's okay. Somethings are just out of your control.

I want to marry this girl. I really want to marry this girl. I will really love her and keep her happy. She is the ultimate bitch and she tops it. She has as much ego as I have, She is the queen. You know, I never thought a person like her can change my mind. But 3 years down the line , I have so much respect for myself and her that I feel happy that we will keep each other happy. But there is irony, she won't marry me. And the more I would enroach her life, she will definately never.

ahhhhhhhhhhhh.................Bhainchod, Madharchod, Behan ka taka,Bhonsri Wala, Teri maa kee choot mein chhipkali ka ****, harami ke aulad, randi ke aulad, gadhe ka lund, laude ke baal, gaandu, gaand ka baal, bhadwe ke chhathhi aulad, Suarr ke aulad,it can go on....and the worse i haven't used it.
(Huh What was that for ?) I abused myself.. I just abused myself honestly.

I really get angry then I use these lovely words. It's not to abuse.Sometimes when one shout these words loudly it takes the frustration out. Just like when we were preparing for JEE and some question is not getting solved, we made sure we won't get up till that question is solved. Kinda makes you feel relieved. Rest of you, cummon don't be so amazed everybody in this world uses it.

When Gautum Gambhir can say so openly in front of whole country " Teri maa kee chut" to Shahid Afridi, why can't I. I am not fucking afraid of my parents knowing the truth.

Trust me, It was for me...  I l cherish every moment, I cherish every moment.

Monday, November 19, 2007


In my last blog I wrote, “its not worth talking about things I like”. But then let’s give it a try for a change. I am just trying to talk about the most difficult topic so the one concerned needn’t get worked up if he doesn’t like something about it. When people generally talk to me about it I just tend to ignore them because I myself don’t know a reason why we are together. There’s no answer to why I love someone and no reason to it. People have made this word so commercialized that the word sounds filthy at times. Everyone who knows us, including ourselves think we are exactly opposite. He an extrovert, a social animal, true he can talk about anything and can make you laugh. He says, he likes people who are extroverts, diplomats, intelligent and can flaunt it well. I wonder what he saw in me, I don’t have any of that in me. I am an introvert, don’t take me as shy because whenever I open my mouth I might be just sarcastic or blunt, I am terrible at socializing with people. In front of the crowd I would hardly talk, and if I do either I would sound like shit to them and some so happening people would even take me as “gawaar”. I would hardly talk about things I know cos I know people either fail to understand or they act as if they are attentive and you sound so interesting, I wonder how many of them actually get into their head what others talk, so I decide being shut. Nor that I enjoy extroverts, and my guy who claims so much to be an extrovert I wonder how much he talks about himself. He would talk about everything else but he would hardly open his real self. Somewhere I feel even like me he’s trying to fit in this crowd, the crowd we both might be hating at some point of time, just that we have chosen different ways for that. We both might be selfish in some way and still we both wouldn’t think am I happy with other but rather we would be worried about is he/she happy with me?
I wouldn’t be able to write down what in gets inside me when I am with him. I can fall off to sleep with him without anything going in my mind, a peaceful sleep which I would be wanting since ages. I can talk, talk and talk more when he gets conscious about it. I smile when he gets irritated and then I would irritate him all the more. I can get drunk till the time I don’t throw up without worrying who would carry me home. But I would surely eat his mind next morning asking how embarrassed did he feel seeing me drunk like that? When he would hit on other girls I wouldn’t feel angry but I would feel bad more thinking he isn’t happy with me. And I am sure he would feel the same, the only thing is I don’t hit on other guys neither on girls.

This is getting all the more difficult to write, I generally take an hour or so to write something but this I have been trying from last three days. I don’t know what else about us, coming to think of it I don’t even want to know what’s between us, for all I know is that I love him, no matter what he does and no matter what I do in the outer world he would be still there.

Long back he once told me, that the problems we have now are like small barriers and then there would be one day, the big balloon day we cal it where the balloons refer to happiness. And so much like a fairy tale I would wait for that day to come, for all I know now is that I love him.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

The more you grow, you begin to hate the world even more

I am trying to become such a wannabe. I don't know what else to say...Seriously. May I l post again in sometime. Not today.